As I have repeated in past blog posts, divorce is a difficult process both in and out of the courtroom. The process is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish, and it continues even after the decree is signed.
However, working to keep the negative feelings out of discussions and bringing the right attitude to negotiations will definitely help you achieve a better outcome in the end. It may not be easy at times, but it is absolutely necessary to avoid letting anger and resentment get the better of you during your divorce.
The earlier into the process you realize that divorce is a no-win scenario, the better off you will be when it comes time to sort out the details. There will obviously be points where you disagree along the way, such as how the property is split or how custody plays out, but you can’t let these feelings cloud other aspects of the settlement negotiations.
For example, it is easy to understand how someone who disagrees with how the bank accounts are divided would want to dig in their heels when it comes to dividing personal property simply out of spite. However, this is counter-productive to finalizing the divorce as quickly and amicably as possible.
Instead of taking a stand and saying “no” out of principle, it’s much more beneficial to keep a level head and come up with effective arguments on the areas that really matter. This is also why it is so helpful to have skilled representation on your side, such as the attorneys of Cordell & Cordell, to help facilitate these negotiations.
Divorce lawyers are trained in negotiating these settlements, so they are able to take charge during mediation or other settlement hearings. They can also explain when certain scenarios are worth fighting for and when it is best to just let something go.
Instead of getting hung up on some detail that is often out of your control, such as how much child support you are required to pay, you are able to focus your efforts on aspects that are more important, like maximizing the time with your children.
Many parts of a divorce settlement are going to seem unfair, but that’s just an unfortunate reality of the process. However, when you let your anger over these details get in the way of negotiating other areas, it will only snowball your problems.
As difficult as it may be at times, you are much better served reining in your emotions and bringing a more objective approach to the negotiation table. Not only will this help you avoid extending the process (and in turn costing you more time and money), it will also help keep the negotiations from souring.
The more peaceful and harmonious you are able to keep the negotiations, the more likely you will get a settlement that is to your liking. It may not seem like a major factor when you consider everything else that is going on, but your attitude during divorce can have a major impact on the outcome.